Misaged
Has it ever occurred to you that you might not be your birth age? If your age identity is different than your birth age have you ever been misaged (the horror, the horror)? A new Tale from The Asylum.
Frank Holland strolled into the bar. He rubbed his bald head, then his gray, neatly trimmed beard while surveying the empty seats. He sat down next to a young brunette who chatted with the girl next to her.
"Excuse me, gorgeous, can I buy you and your friend a drink?"
The young woman turned to Frank and said curtly, "Not tonight, Gramps."
Far louder than the woman expected Frank said, "Did you just misage me? Unbelievable. In this day and age without even inquiring, you misage me."
Very quickly the woman said, "I'm so sorry, sir..."
"Sir? Sir! Why would you call me 'Sir'? How old do you think I am? Are you insinuating I'm old enough to be your father?"
"No, no. I'm really sorry. I should have asked your preferred age to begin with."
"Yes, you should have."
"What is your preferred age, your age identity?"
"26. Please remember that. I'm 26 and I'd like to buy you and your friend a drink."
"No thanks," she said. Then she and her friend got up and left the bar.
Frank sat quietly after he ordered a beer. At the end of the bar a woman, using a walker, shuffled, with much effort, toward Frank. When she got to the seat next to him, she asked if he would help her into the barstool. Her thin, gray hair hung down just to her shoulders and her frail, wrinkled body struggled, even with help from Frank, to get comfortable in the stool.
"Hey handsome," she said, "Buy me a drink?"
"Not tonight, Gr.....what's your preferred age?"
"23."
"Well, hello, Miss 23," Frank said flirtatiously.
"My name's Margo," she said in sultry voice.
"Well, hel....loooo, Margo, 23. I'm Frank, 26."
Buy the book: I'm Nobody. Who Are You? Can We Save the World?
Some comments on the book:
“It’s a cool gift for a fellow-dissident friend that can relate to the material. It’s like reading a war journal by someone you never met that was in the same conflict as you; you mostly read it for the good feelings you have as you nod along in agreement and reinforce the neural pathways that got fired up as you lived through your particular shared-but-unshared moment of history’s hell.” —Guttermouth from The Gutter
“I received your book today, and I can now honestly say, I couldn’t put it down. I read it from cover to cover, flipping pages with anticipation and delight. I read words and sentences that sounded as though they were flowing from my own mind (even to the point of reading the sentences that “filled that empty space” at the very end).
I will review. I will share. I will continue the fight of the nobodies of the world.” — John here on Substack
"This was a fun and very funny book, written in an interesting and innovative style. We’re all basically inmates in this open-air asylum known as Western Civilization in 2023. Here’s an enjoyable letter from a fellow inmate to lift your spirits, let you know you’re not alone, and inspire you with the possibility that maybe there are enough kindred spirits that we can change this world for the better. For anyone who feels like our postmodern culture has gone completely crazy, this book will be a thoroughly enjoyable read." — Mr. Thursday, Amazon Review
"A great way to spend an hour or so. The words of so many who love freedom, but who have never written them for others to embrace, are now available in short order and short form.
If you love freedom, reality and truth, all sprinkled with levity, more honesty and bit of snarky meme, this book will delight.
We can, we must, and we will save the world." — John, Amazon Review
This article also appears on my website, The Asylum. The website also has several things that are not possible to do on Substack: The World Economic Forum Members Reference (thanks to Dr. Malone), Red State/Blue State reference showing Senate and House percentages by party affiliation, quotes, a large resources section, a robust search feature and some other things unique to the site: quizzes, word games and leaked communications. These latter three are satirical and funny, at least in my mind, but you'll have to be the ultimate judge on that.